Tuesday brought with it a visit from Nana and Grandpa and a trip to Fiesta Texas (San Antonio's Six Flags). Temperature wise it was two degrees cooler than yesterday, but it felt cooler because the humidity was lower. It was fun to visit the Six Flags that Donald grew up going to instead of the one I grew up going to (Atlanta, GA). The kids enjoyed the rides before indulging in the water park. And Donald and I were able to get away while they swam to ride one of the grown up roller coasters. It was the first time in years since I've ridden a roller coaster and will probably be the last for a while. It sure does feel different at 36 than it used to at 16. :)

The cute story from today involves Ethan. He took possession of the map and studied it. Then he told me that it was a project for me and him. He walked around looking at that map all day. He took pride in having a project with me. He's such a sweet boy. Even now, he's in bed (not going to sleep) studying our project.

We're going to cut our time in San Antonio short. I miss my sister so we're going to head back to her house and spend some time with them. That's fun that money just can't buy!

WOW is it H O T in Texas. The car read 109, so I'm guessing it's about 100. Last night we walked along the river front and finally got that BBQ brisket that I've been craving. Ethan begged to ride one of the boats so we did. The tour the guides give is really interesting and it's cool to see the city from a different angle. The tour itself lasts about 35 minutes. As our tour guide was giving us the rich history of a building along the river walk, Ethan decides he wants to ask a question. He begins by asking me if he can raise his hand. So I look at him and ask him why he wants to raise his hand. He whispers, rather loudly, that he wants to ask a question. I pause and think to myself, "this ought to be good". So I answer him with an affirmative nod and he raises his little hand. He waits patiently until the girl is through giving her speech about the current building and acknowledges him. She looked down at him and said, "Do you have a question, Little Buddy". He so sweetly asks, "What time is it?". Everyone got a good chuckle out of that. You never know what you're going to get when Ethan speaks.

Today was our day at Sea World. Without question the all around favorite was feeding and petting the dolphins. The kids enjoyed a few kiddie rides and we were able to see two shows. It was kind of crowded for the first week in June and it was definitely hot. We are back at our cool hotel room and plan on doing a little swimming before tomorrow.

We finally made it! We are finally in Texas. Our vacation got off to a rocky start with a 3 hour delay, but once we got on the road we made pretty good time. And as anticipated, there was much laughter with my family at my sister's house. I enjoyed watching the children do Dance Central and even gave it a try myself. Of course I was told I was in the way and that I needed to move. You gotta love 10 year old nephews! (I really do love you Logan!!) But the best part of spending time with my sister is the ability to let go of it all and just laugh.

Today was mostly spent in the car. We left around 10am and we arrived in Texas at 6pm. Texas is crazy big. I feel for my little ones. We have been talking about Sea World and the fun things we are going to do but neglecting to drive home the point that Daddy has an interview/get to know you weekend before we do those other activities. As we were driving into the hotel parking lot Donald said, "We're here". Ethan excitedly responded, "At Sea World?". His disappointment quickly faded when we reached our room and DJ took the suitcases off of the Bellman's cart. Ethan seized the opportunity to jump on and make it his personal playground. It wasn't long before his sister got in on the fun too. I watched with pleasure as they took a simple, functional object and turned it into one of the greatest toys ever. At some point during their play Sarah looked over at me and said, "This day is the best day of vacation yet!". The best day indeed Sarah. The best day indeed.

My pastor's message tonight was on the prayer life of Jesus. The passage was from the book of Luke chapters 22 and 23. While focusing on verse 23:34, he commented on how hard it must have been for Jesus to pray, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". As Bro. Doug was making his point, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart a prayer that is just as hard for me. "Father, help ME forgive them". See I find it completely easy to ask God to forgive others because He is holy. He does forgive and He does forget. It's easy to ask Him to bear that responsibility of forgiveness. But asking God to help me forgive someone who has wronged me is hard. I have to allow Him to work through me to actively forgive someone. For you see as a human being, I do not have the ability to forgive and forget. I can forgive, but I'm still going to remember. And I have to choose to let go of the anger and hurt, just or unjust, that is relinquished with true forgiveness. A feat that is not possible by my strength alone. It's one of those "with God all things are possible" tasks.

As I was pondering these thoughts, Bro. Doug referred us to Hebrews 12:15 and continued to talk about bitterness. And I realized that by not praying for God to help me to forgive those I feel have wrong my family and I, that I am enabling the root of bitterness to spring up in my life. This is a very revealing post as I am admitting a fault, a weakness that I have been struggling with over the last year. But it's also a therapeutic post as I truly am asking God to help me forgive those I feel have wronged my family and I. And as wrong and as hurt as I felt at the time, true to His word . . . God really did work all things together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose.

Will forgiveness come over night? Perhaps not. But the desire is there in my heart and I know that it is pleasing to my Father who in Ephesians 4:26 says, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". Too many nights have I gone to bed angry. Too many days have I let my hurt eclipse my joy. From this point forward I am going to pray that hard prayer, "Father help me forgive them" and I'm going to allow Him to do His work in my heart. I trust Him. I love Him. And going back to the subject of the Bible passage that began all of these thoughts on which I reflect . . .

He was crucified, for me He died, on Calvary. That He loved me so, this is why I know, Christ is all I need.

I had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard it. It's one of my favorite sounds. It's sweet, a little high-pitched and usually filled with excitement. It evokes emotions of overwhelming love, relief and thankfulness in me. It's a sound I hear every morning, but never tire of hearing. It's the sweet, innocent voice of my precious Ethan.

Each morning upon awakening, Ethan searches the house calling, "Hey Momma", until he finds me. I must have heard him say it three or four times before he actually entered the bathroom to give me a good morning hug. And each time he said it, the words were filled with the same love and excitement. It's as if we've been separated for days instead of 10 to 12 hours.

You're probably thinking that it's my favorite sound for obvious reasons. It's the sound of my child's voice and what parent doesn't love the sound of their child's voice (well, with the exception of the whiny one). But the ambiguous reason this is one of my favorite sounds is the feelings behind the little voice first thing in the morning.

I cherish the fact that my son is excited to see me each morning. We spend all day together and we talk throughout each day. But at no time during the day is he quite as excited to see me as he is first thing in the morning. The unexpressed meaning in his voice is one of forgiveness. No matter what kind of day we experienced on the previous day, he's excited to see me and we have a fresh start. Thankfully at three his memory is short term and he's long forgotten about me being "mean" (and yes, he tells me that sometimes), he's long forgotten about me losing my temper and sending him to time out (sometimes unfairly) and he's long forgotten about me not letting him jump off the back of my sofa. It's a new day and he is ready to spend it with me. Love, unconditionally.

Wow, love unconditionally. A new day. Sounds mighty familiar doesn't it? It reminds me of my heavenly Father. Immediately a song comes to mind.

Lord, You make Your mercies new every day
You change my life in so many ways
You cradle me in Your sweet grace
You fill me

Yesterday, today, forever more
There's one thing I know for sure
Fresh as the morning dew
You make Your mercy new

The song, New Mercy, is one of my favorites by Phillips, Craig and Dean. The song reminded me that there is another who is excited to start a fresh new day with me. Another who has long forgotten (and forgiven) any transgressions of yesterday. Another who loves me unconditionally. God, my Father. Isn't it amazing that God can use the simple act of Ethan excitedly saying, "Hey Momma" to remind me of His faithfulness and mercies? I praise the Lord that He speaks to me through my children. They are blessings from Him and I am grateful that the Lord uses them to reveal Himself to me daily.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (HCS)
22 Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end.
23 They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!

When asked what kind of birthday cake she wanted, sweet little Rachel said three things: purple, puppies and sparkly. So I set out to do my best to make her wishes come true. This is a chocolate cake with a crusting butter cream frosting. The doggie, bow and daisies are all made out of fondant. The frilly ribbon-like bottom was made with a darker tinted butter cream and the 1M tip. The bottom ribbon and the bow are dusted with luster dust to add that special sparkle. Happy Birthday, Rachel! I hope you enjoy your cake!!!

I was stopped at a red light on Highway 280 the other day. The car in front of me had put what I’m assuming was their first and last initial on each side of their car tag. This caught my attention because it was a little different from the three initial monogramming that you see on people’s back windshields. All of the sudden I hear Jerry Seinfeld in my head making some funny comment about how far we’ve taken this monogramming business.

I started to think of all the things I’ve seen monogrammed. There is a big trend with monogramming everything you own whether it be a purse, a shirt, your cell phone and now your vehicle. Some people even monogram the walls in their house. Why? Is there doubt about to whom the wall belongs? Certainly not. And placing someone’s initials on a purse won’t tell a stranger anything about the owner. So why do we do it? I think simply put it personalizes an item and makes it unique to us.

I love to find correlations between everyday life and scripture. And as I was pondering the whole monogramming issue, the Spirit brought to mind a scripture I had read a long time ago.

“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands”. Isaiah 16a

So many times I find myself going about life, knowing God is there , but not really personalizing him on a very real level. Yet here was the Holy Spirit reminding me that I am engraved on the very palm of God. He has personalized His palm, not with His own initials, but with me. A sinner saved only by grace. It’s wonderful to think about this verse in combination with Psalm 139:14. That verse tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each one of us is unique. And now we know we are personalized on the palm of God’s hand.

So next time you pick up your monogrammed purse or you pass that monogrammed vehicle, smile and be reassured that you are just as unique and personalized to God.