tina martin: my life takes the cake

My pastor's message tonight was on the prayer life of Jesus. The passage was from the book of Luke chapters 22 and 23. While focusing on verse 23:34, he commented on how hard it must have been for Jesus to pray, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". As Bro. Doug was making his point, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart a prayer that is just as hard for me. "Father, help ME forgive them". See I find it completely easy to ask God to forgive others because He is holy. He does forgive and He does forget. It's easy to ask Him to bear that responsibility of forgiveness. But asking God to help me forgive someone who has wronged me is hard. I have to allow Him to work through me to actively forgive someone. For you see as a human being, I do not have the ability to forgive and forget. I can forgive, but I'm still going to remember. And I have to choose to let go of the anger and hurt, just or unjust, that is relinquished with true forgiveness. A feat that is not possible by my strength alone. It's one of those "with God all things are possible" tasks.

As I was pondering these thoughts, Bro. Doug referred us to Hebrews 12:15 and continued to talk about bitterness. And I realized that by not praying for God to help me to forgive those I feel have wrong my family and I, that I am enabling the root of bitterness to spring up in my life. This is a very revealing post as I am admitting a fault, a weakness that I have been struggling with over the last year. But it's also a therapeutic post as I truly am asking God to help me forgive those I feel have wronged my family and I. And as wrong and as hurt as I felt at the time, true to His word . . . God really did work all things together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose.

Will forgiveness come over night? Perhaps not. But the desire is there in my heart and I know that it is pleasing to my Father who in Ephesians 4:26 says, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". Too many nights have I gone to bed angry. Too many days have I let my hurt eclipse my joy. From this point forward I am going to pray that hard prayer, "Father help me forgive them" and I'm going to allow Him to do His work in my heart. I trust Him. I love Him. And going back to the subject of the Bible passage that began all of these thoughts on which I reflect . . .

He was crucified, for me He died, on Calvary. That He loved me so, this is why I know, Christ is all I need.