My pastor's message tonight was on the prayer life of Jesus. The passage was from the book of Luke chapters 22 and 23. While focusing on verse 23:34, he commented on how hard it must have been for Jesus to pray, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". As Bro. Doug was making his point, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart a prayer that is just as hard for me. "Father, help ME forgive them". See I find it completely easy to ask God to forgive others because He is holy. He does forgive and He does forget. It's easy to ask Him to bear that responsibility of forgiveness. But asking God to help me forgive someone who has wronged me is hard. I have to allow Him to work through me to actively forgive someone. For you see as a human being, I do not have the ability to forgive and forget. I can forgive, but I'm still going to remember. And I have to choose to let go of the anger and hurt, just or unjust, that is relinquished with true forgiveness. A feat that is not possible by my strength alone. It's one of those "with God all things are possible" tasks.

As I was pondering these thoughts, Bro. Doug referred us to Hebrews 12:15 and continued to talk about bitterness. And I realized that by not praying for God to help me to forgive those I feel have wrong my family and I, that I am enabling the root of bitterness to spring up in my life. This is a very revealing post as I am admitting a fault, a weakness that I have been struggling with over the last year. But it's also a therapeutic post as I truly am asking God to help me forgive those I feel have wronged my family and I. And as wrong and as hurt as I felt at the time, true to His word . . . God really did work all things together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose.

Will forgiveness come over night? Perhaps not. But the desire is there in my heart and I know that it is pleasing to my Father who in Ephesians 4:26 says, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". Too many nights have I gone to bed angry. Too many days have I let my hurt eclipse my joy. From this point forward I am going to pray that hard prayer, "Father help me forgive them" and I'm going to allow Him to do His work in my heart. I trust Him. I love Him. And going back to the subject of the Bible passage that began all of these thoughts on which I reflect . . .

He was crucified, for me He died, on Calvary. That He loved me so, this is why I know, Christ is all I need.

I had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard it. It's one of my favorite sounds. It's sweet, a little high-pitched and usually filled with excitement. It evokes emotions of overwhelming love, relief and thankfulness in me. It's a sound I hear every morning, but never tire of hearing. It's the sweet, innocent voice of my precious Ethan.

Each morning upon awakening, Ethan searches the house calling, "Hey Momma", until he finds me. I must have heard him say it three or four times before he actually entered the bathroom to give me a good morning hug. And each time he said it, the words were filled with the same love and excitement. It's as if we've been separated for days instead of 10 to 12 hours.

You're probably thinking that it's my favorite sound for obvious reasons. It's the sound of my child's voice and what parent doesn't love the sound of their child's voice (well, with the exception of the whiny one). But the ambiguous reason this is one of my favorite sounds is the feelings behind the little voice first thing in the morning.

I cherish the fact that my son is excited to see me each morning. We spend all day together and we talk throughout each day. But at no time during the day is he quite as excited to see me as he is first thing in the morning. The unexpressed meaning in his voice is one of forgiveness. No matter what kind of day we experienced on the previous day, he's excited to see me and we have a fresh start. Thankfully at three his memory is short term and he's long forgotten about me being "mean" (and yes, he tells me that sometimes), he's long forgotten about me losing my temper and sending him to time out (sometimes unfairly) and he's long forgotten about me not letting him jump off the back of my sofa. It's a new day and he is ready to spend it with me. Love, unconditionally.

Wow, love unconditionally. A new day. Sounds mighty familiar doesn't it? It reminds me of my heavenly Father. Immediately a song comes to mind.

Lord, You make Your mercies new every day
You change my life in so many ways
You cradle me in Your sweet grace
You fill me

Yesterday, today, forever more
There's one thing I know for sure
Fresh as the morning dew
You make Your mercy new

The song, New Mercy, is one of my favorites by Phillips, Craig and Dean. The song reminded me that there is another who is excited to start a fresh new day with me. Another who has long forgotten (and forgiven) any transgressions of yesterday. Another who loves me unconditionally. God, my Father. Isn't it amazing that God can use the simple act of Ethan excitedly saying, "Hey Momma" to remind me of His faithfulness and mercies? I praise the Lord that He speaks to me through my children. They are blessings from Him and I am grateful that the Lord uses them to reveal Himself to me daily.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (HCS)
22 Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end.
23 They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!

When asked what kind of birthday cake she wanted, sweet little Rachel said three things: purple, puppies and sparkly. So I set out to do my best to make her wishes come true. This is a chocolate cake with a crusting butter cream frosting. The doggie, bow and daisies are all made out of fondant. The frilly ribbon-like bottom was made with a darker tinted butter cream and the 1M tip. The bottom ribbon and the bow are dusted with luster dust to add that special sparkle. Happy Birthday, Rachel! I hope you enjoy your cake!!!

I was stopped at a red light on Highway 280 the other day. The car in front of me had put what I’m assuming was their first and last initial on each side of their car tag. This caught my attention because it was a little different from the three initial monogramming that you see on people’s back windshields. All of the sudden I hear Jerry Seinfeld in my head making some funny comment about how far we’ve taken this monogramming business.

I started to think of all the things I’ve seen monogrammed. There is a big trend with monogramming everything you own whether it be a purse, a shirt, your cell phone and now your vehicle. Some people even monogram the walls in their house. Why? Is there doubt about to whom the wall belongs? Certainly not. And placing someone’s initials on a purse won’t tell a stranger anything about the owner. So why do we do it? I think simply put it personalizes an item and makes it unique to us.

I love to find correlations between everyday life and scripture. And as I was pondering the whole monogramming issue, the Spirit brought to mind a scripture I had read a long time ago.

“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands”. Isaiah 16a

So many times I find myself going about life, knowing God is there , but not really personalizing him on a very real level. Yet here was the Holy Spirit reminding me that I am engraved on the very palm of God. He has personalized His palm, not with His own initials, but with me. A sinner saved only by grace. It’s wonderful to think about this verse in combination with Psalm 139:14. That verse tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each one of us is unique. And now we know we are personalized on the palm of God’s hand.

So next time you pick up your monogrammed purse or you pass that monogrammed vehicle, smile and be reassured that you are just as unique and personalized to God.

i write about my mother often in my posts. one reason is that as a mom, i can relate most of my experiences to her. it's no secret that men and women process events, problems and even joys in different ways. however, i don't want anyone reading my blog to underestimate the vast impression made upon my life by my father. it is hard for me to put into words the intense feelings of love that i have for my father. but i would like to try.

this morning as i was cleaning the house i was humming/singing as i usually do. and a special song popped into my mind. it was wide open spaces by the dixie chicks. my daddy once told me that this song reminded him of me and i have never forgotten that. i can't listen to the song without my heart welling with love for my father. and there are a few lessons in the song that hold true for me and my father.

who doesn't know what i'm talking about? who's never left home, who's never struck out? to find a dream and a life of their own. a place in the clouds a foundation of stone?

anyone who knows me well, knows that i am a home body. i love to be at home with my family and rarely do things without my family. i lived at home through college. i tried twice to live on campus and returned home within one week each time. the first time i moved from home was when i went to seminary in new orleans. my father, mother, sister and grandmother drove down with me and helped me unload everything into my dorm room. then we ate at popeyes. i didn't eat. i sat there crying the whole time. i cried for hours when they left. but this time i made it. and i fell in love with a boy going to seminary in fort worth texas. so at the end of my first quarter, i packed up my car with my belongs and i headed to texas - the wide open spaces. texas. now i was 9 hours away from my family instead of four. but the foundation of stone had already been laid in my life. my father made sure that the foundation of our lives was that of God because God's foundation stands firm (2 timothy 2:19). i was finally ready to leave home, to build my life on my foundation. God's foundation.

she needs wide open spaces, room to make her big mistakes. she needs new faces, she knows the high stakes.

mistakes. wow, i've made a lot through out my life. and i know of several big mistakes that were very painful for my father to witness. but he loved me enough, and trusted the Lord enough to let me make those mistakes. you see proverbs 22:6 tells us to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. as parents we want to protect our children from mistakes. but if we protect them from every mistake, we prevent them from learning from the consequences. and we prevent them from learning how to rely on God. because as much as we might want to protect our children, we are human and we will fail. but God . . . He is faithful and just and ever present. and He loves our children more than we do.

as her folks drive away her dad yells check the oil.

when my daddy left me he always said, "remember whose you are". at the time i just assumed he meant my mother and himself. as i grew older and matured in my faith i realized he meant God. and because of the Godly rearing my father and mother gave me i have never doubted whose i am, nor have i doubted His love for me. i also never doubted the love of my daddy. and when it came time to chose the man to join my life with, i looked for someone like my daddy. a Godly man, devoted to living a life pleasing to the Lord, a man who would lead me and my children to love and serve the Lord.

daddy, you are more precious to me than words could ever express. i am thankful for your Godly example, your patience and support throughout my life and inspite of my mistakes. i love you with all of my heart.

let me set the stage. it's 1980/1990 something (i'm too lazy to do the math) and my mother's 35th birthday was approaching and i wanted to get her a gift. with a limited budget of a youngster's allowance, i set out in walmart in search of the perfect gift (this was back in the day when you could let your child go to a different department of the store without worrying about their safety). i have always been a practical person, which has generally been reflected in my gift choosing throughout my life. so i made my way to the domestics department. yep, household goods. for her birthday. and i find what i think to be a suitable gift. and it's funny. to me. and i, in my childlike innocence, think it will be amusing to her as well. the gift? a blue pot holder with the saying, "middle age is when you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal". wow. she was 35. knowing what i know now, you know we get wiser with age, i certainly hope that 35 wasn't middle age for her!

flash forward to the current day and time. i walked into the kitchen last night to finish cleaning up and i saw sarah's baby (a little lamb given to her at birth by my mother) on the counter. she sleeps with "baby" every night and i couldn't believe she had gone to bed without her. i also knew that if she awoke in the middle of the night unable to find "baby" that i would be awakened to find "baby". so i took "baby" and headed to her room to place her safely next to sarah. i take one step into the hallway and immediately realize that ethan is still awake. he's supposed to be asleep and if he sees me he will cry. so like a ninja, i take a step backwards in the hallway to hide myself from his view. unlike a ninja, my knee pops. and loudly. and i see ethan whip his head around as i am stepping backwards, knee a-poppin, and hear him say, "what's that?". i'm standing there in the hall way amused at his keen hearing (i mean my knee couldn't have popped that loudly, could it have???) and wondering how i'm going to get "baby" in bed with sarah without ethan seeing me. i peek around the corner and see ethan pick up his bunny and start looking at the tag. i decide this is my chance to accomplish my task. i lean forward and toss "baby" into sarah's room and smile as it lands perfectly next to her sleeping body. then i go to step out of the hallway into the living room and my other knee pops. i snicker to myself as i realize that age has not only brought a small amount of wisdom but noises i used to hear from my parents. and immediately i am thrown back into time - to purchasing that aforementioned pot holder and giving it to my mother.

i hope she sees the humor in this that i see. as a mother, i am sure that i am old in my daughter's eyes. she has told me so. and it's not so long ago that in my young mind my parents were old. so, i'm sorry mom. i hear the snap, crackle, pop too now. and i hope it's not middle age for me either! i love you!

children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. honor your mother and father, which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. ephesians 6:1-3

where has the month of august gone? it's september 1 (tomorrow) and it seems like just yesterday we were ringing in the new year. time flies when you're having fun. not that this has been a totally fun week. we think we finally have our air conditioner problems solved, expensive as it was to solve them. but the house is now nice and cool and we're praising the Lord for that. the new dishwasher is installed, after two days of working on it, and it works wonderfully. her name is joy, because she brings me joy.

ethan is up to his old tricks again. today when he asked for his third sippie of milk within 10 minutes i told him no. he looked at me, pointed that little finger at me and said, "don't tell me no". i had to bite my lip and look away to keep from laughing at him. he's so spunky. the house three doors down from ours caught fire today. there were four firetrucks and police cars everywhere on our street and in front of our house. they had the road blocked off and people were congregating in the yard. so we walked outside to chat with a neighbor. when ethan saw the firetrucks he was so excited. he said, "yay! then started going woooooooo (the sound of a siren). it was so cute but kind of embarrassing. we went back inside soon after that.

sarah is enjoying first grade. her fundraiser walk is thursday morning from 9am until 10am. ethan and i will be going to cheer her on. i'm so thankful the weather is cooler this week and that we will be able to enjoy being outside.

no insightful posts tonight. just wanted to update everyone on what's been going on in our lives.