today was sarah's first day of first grade. as we were getting her supplies ready last night she commented on how heavy they were. i reassured her that i would help her carry them in the morning. then she hit me with the words that no mom wants to hear. "i don't need you to walk me to my room because i'm a first grader now. i'm not a kindergartener, you know". i did my best to not look defeated. i did my best to laugh it off. but if i am honest, it hurt. i knew this day would come. i just didn't know she'd be six. as we arrived at school this morning i convinced her to let me walk her to the door of the school and help her carry her things. she relunctantly agreed. but as we crossed the threshold of the door, she promptly took her supplies and spun on one heel to go to her class. no kiss, no hug, not even a goodbye. i had to call her back for a quick, and i do mean quick, kiss and picture. it's humerous. it's hard to be sad when she's so excited. but it does happen all too fast and it's not something you can understand until you've been there.
as i reflect on sarah's declaration, "i don't need you . . .", i wonder how many times i've made that same declaration to my heavenly Father. whether audibly, through my actions or by my attitude, i have said that many times. and thankfully, He knows what i as a parent know. in fact i do need Him, just as sarah needs me. and while the physical limitations of this world prevent me from being ever present with sarah . . . leading her to make good choices, protecting her from harm, and supporting her through each and every step of the day . . . our Father has promised to be with us both. because we do need Him. thank You Father, for Your presence in my life and in the life of my daughter. and thank You for being there even when we think we don't need You.
and surely i am with you always. matthew 28:20
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