today we enjoyed spending the entire day at home. it's a rare occasion when we don't leave the house for anything, but we always enjoy ourselves when that happens. this morning we got out the slip and slide that aunt april sent ethan for his second birthday. there's a very gentle slope between our house and the neighbor's and it makes a great place for the slip and slide. it's just enough slope to help them slide down the slide easier without flying off the end into the grass.

getting out the slip and slide is a lot easier said than done. there's the slip and slide, which needed to be inflated and staked into the ground. then getting both kids into swimsuits (little swimmers for ethan). then bringing out chairs for mom and dad to sit in. sunscreen must be applied because we all burn very easily. drinks to be poured because everyone suddenly decides they are thirsty. a trip back inside to get forgotten towels. finally, we're ready to play on the slip and slide. my reward for my hard work: precious giggles and squeals of delight. i think my children had more fun in our own backyard than they did on our vacation last week. and until the water bill gets here, it didn't cost us a single penny. haha

there's not much that brings my heart more joy than hearing my children laughing and having fun. i love how sarah mothers ethan in a loving way that's not overbearing or bossy. i love hearing ethan laugh at the smallest of things. i love the way he wants to do everything that "sarwah" does. i love sarah asking me to rate her performance on a scale of 1 to 10. i love when sarah is telling me something and ethan says "momma" followed by a bunch of jibberish because he wants to be a part of the conversation. i love hearing ethan tell me "i love chou so mush". i love hearing sarah tell me that i'm "the best momma and that God did a good thing when He made me her mom".

it's such a shame that all people don't see their children as blessings. psalm 127:3 (cev) says that "children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord". wow. am i ever blessed. as a mom, i relish my children enjoying a gift more than i do receiving a gift. it gives me great satisfaction to see their pleasure with something i have picked out specifically for them. how much more does my Father, from whom all good and perfect gifts come (james 1:17), delight in my enjoyment of my children? He made them, knit them together (psalm 139:13), specifically for me. good? most of the time. perfect? perfect for me.

i haven't written in a week, which is why i put off blogging for so long. most days i don't have any profound thoughts or insights. the last week has been busy with living life and hasn't provided much time for reflective thinking. but here's a recap of the week:

tomorrow is sarah's last day of kindergarten. so much has changed in our lives during this year. she's learned to spread her wings a little and i've learned (though it sure hurts) that i can't hold on to her forever and that i can not fix everything. we've learned that not everyone makes good choices through bullies, mean words and misunderstandings. she's learned that not everyone cares about her feelings like mom and dad. i've learned that i can't shelter her from everything.
the separation has been harder on me than her, but it has provided me with some wonderful one on one time with ethan.

ethan turned two, TWO!, on may 14th. i can't believe how much he's grown physically and mentally. for his birthday he got a big boy trike, a t-ball set and a slip and slide. it's been so rainy and wet we haven't had a chance to use the slip and slide yet, but perhaps this weekend we'll break it out.

tonight is sarah's end of the year choir musical. she has a pink feather boa wrapped steering wheel for the performance. so sarah. actually it's ethan too. i have it hidden in the car until we get to church because i know he's going to pitch a fit for it.

i did my last newsletter for the MOPS year. it's kind of sad because i enjoy it so. but i'm excited about my new position and i know that God can use me in other ways just as He can use someone else to do the newsletter. my secret pal was emily and she gave me a gift certificate to louise's. what a great secret pal! i can't wait to go spend it.

summer should prove to be exciting and busy though in a more unstructured way than the school year. i can't wait to have fun with both of my children! and hopefully donald will be able to join us on a few of the days.

two years ago today i was laying in the hospital bed in tears with discouragement weighing heavily on my heart. for weeks i had been in the most intense pain of my life. on my hardest, most painful days, i would lay in bed singing to my Lord through my pain. often my words were muffled by my clenched jaw, barely audible through whispered tears, and sometimes overwhelming unintelligible through my sobs. but the song, from my heart, remained the same. here are the words that got me through the hardest time of my life:

praise you in this storm
by casting crowns

i was sure by now
that you would have reached down
and wiped our tears away
stepped in and saved the day
but once again, i say, "amen", and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls
i barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
i raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away

i'll praise You in this storm
and i will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where i am
every tear i've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
i will praise You in this storm

i remember when
i stumbled in the wind
You heard me cry
You raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can i carry on
if i can't find You

i lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord
the maker of heaven and earth


two years later i am left with not only the memories of how much pain i endured, but with permanent nerve damage and pain that will stay with me for the duration of my life. but i am so blessed with a precious son who is a constant reminder to me that my God, my Father, loves me and will never leave me alone. his smile, so charming and contagious, is a reminder to me that my God works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose. his sweet little hand inside of mine, reminds me that my Father has a plan for me. and the memory of my pain, though it fades with time, reminds me that my Savior endured pain to bring me life eternal.

today has been catch up day on cleaning the house. between me working a few extra hours, designing three websites and just life in general it had been too long since the deep cleaning of dusting and putting things back in their rightful home. ethan is on his fifth episode of blue's clues. he's gone from not watching two seconds of television to wanting blue after blue episode. for now he has moved on to the radio on donald's nightstand.

since it is not raining today and it is scheduled to rain the rest of the week, i am going to make the blue fondant pond for ethan's birthday cake this afternoon. tomorrow will be the day i bake the cake for the sheep pops. i'll bake the actual birthday cake on thursday. no big birthday plans. we like to keep things simple and family oriented. so i'm going to make his favorite dinner of pizza casserole and then we'll sing happy birthday and open his presents before cutting into the cake. i hope that it comes out as well as i have invisioned it!

here you will likely find random thoughts, stories about my children, what's baking in my kitchen and anything else i feel like writing about. like most, the intent of my blog is to keep family members up to date on what's going on in our life.